ambersweet: Link holding a chicken! (Friday Chicken)
This week, it has been crazy, and it's somehow Friday once again.

Success: the research paper was completed and submitted on time. One final left, and I'll be done.

Semi-success: finished the third finger of Beer Glove #1. I'd probably finish it completely tonight, except that I apparently don't have the pouch with my yarn needle with me. Tomorrow for that.

Total WHEN KNITTING ATTACKS kind of fail: the Rainbow Crone scarf. Guys, I hate knitting with this yarn SO MUCH. It twists like crazy, folds, it's slippery as shit, and completed stitches further down the scarf have LITERALLY fallen out. I don't even know how this is POSSIBLE. So, no more Rainbow Crone scarf until I figure out how to fix this problem. Maybe I'll crochet with it instead, so I at least don't have to worry about dropping stitches.

I mentioned earlier in the week that I completed the second pattern repeat of the Argyle State University scarf, and I haven't touched it since then, because the paper, it was eating my soul.

More rows on Ribbed Sock #2, as well, because it's something I can do while roleplaying like the Friday chicken.

There was a lot of stress in the last week, but I handled it really well, all things considered. I was sort of spastic, but, again, able to finish the paper on time. I'm feeling good about graduating; I need to work on my resume and cover letter this weekend and apply for that job.

There's probably more but I'm trying not to get killed right now. How's everyone else?
ambersweet: Hermione Granger, age 17 (Hermione)

Film at 11.

Party in the comments!

So tired.

Dec. 8th, 2010 03:11 am
ambersweet: This is an old face but I like the picture. (Corset)
Totally whining, because I lay down to take a nap before my shift and couldn't sleep. Of course, NOW I'm tired. Less than an hour to go.

Overall I had a good day, which is easy to forget at quarter to three in the morning. Last day of my least favorite class, during which she asked us for feedback and the class (very politely) ripped her to pieces. My complaint (I had to pick one!) was that it didn't feel like a senior-level literature class. THEN we got to fill out the evaluations, which I'd been looking forward to doing since... oh, two weeks into the semester. Ended up having a long, bitchy conversation with a classmate about how unsatisfied we both were with the class. This was the worst-taught class since the science class taught by the botanist who only came out of his shell when he was talking about his work studying fungus in Antarctica. No, really. The class material he presented on overheads (REALLY), and basically read them verbatim. Plus he stuttered.

It was also the last day of my favorite class, which is sad, except that we're having a party at our professor's house during our final period next week, so that will be AWESOME.

Aside from my internship stuff, which I'll be doing until the end of December, I have ONE paper left to write for my undergraduate career. It's due Friday.

I'm excited to be graduating, but totally bummed sitting in class listening to people talking about what they're taking next semester, and I will be taking... gainful employment.

Have I mentioned how much I loathe writing cover letters? Oh, so much. To the depths of my tortured soul. The very depths, I say. Anybody want to write one for me?

Did some more research for that paper, since the professor said she wanted more recent sources, so I have a bunch of .pdf files to read.

I'm supposed to be going to a Nordic Soul Matrix class tomorrow night, but I might just go home and do research and get my paper started. Ten pages by Friday noon. Stabbing self in face in 3...2...yeah.

Worked another inch or so on Ribbed Sock #2 in class. My When Knitting Attacks today, as the Knitmore Girls call it, was discovering that the needles had fallen out of the Ribbed Sock and having to rip back a couple of rows to get them put back in correctly. Minor, but frustrating, but I was able to make some good progress after that.

The Rainbow Crone scarf (the ribbon scarf for either [personal profile] finch's mom or the Rainbow Maiden) is knitting up delightfully quickly, which is awesome, because it's fragile enough that I can't just throw it in my bag. (Also I need to carry a bag that's less abusive to my knitting, according to the Ribbed Sock.)

Two more rows done on the Argyle State scarf tonight - I've finished the second pattern repeat and started the third - and I must've gotten at least a dozen compliments on it while I was helping patrons. Also the recipient kept - well - fanboying all over it, which was totally adorable.

Twenty minutes left in my shift; let's see if I can get another row done on this thing.
ambersweet: Making it up as I go along. (Mature pink scarf)
Not necessarily in a bad way. I have ONE paper left, but it's the big one and it's due on Friday (rather than next Monday, like I thought.) This is something I can do, though.

I finally put a crocheted edge on the Seafoam Shawl and have declared it FINISHED. If she doesn't like it, I'll sell it on Etsy. I'm done with it. I'll take some pictures tomorrow and put them up. Hilariously, I didn't end up using the yarn I bought FOR THAT PURPOSE but something that was sitting in my stash. Clearly that means I get to use that yarn for Nefarious Projects.

Worked several more rows of the Argyle State scarf while roleplaying on Saturday night; my overall conclusion is that it's too brain-intensive to actually work on while I'm doing something else. I'll probably bring something pattern-light like Ribbed Sock #2 this week.

I also had the dreadful revelation that, as it IS December, I better get moving on my gift making. As such, I cast on a scarf using a ribbon yarn that I'm making for [personal profile] finch's mom. Unless the Rainbow Maiden decides to claim it. *facepalm*
ambersweet: Link holding a chicken! (Friday Chicken)
I'm so not ready for this week to be over. AT ALL. In fact, I'd like to lodge a formal protest, that this week went by much too fast and I'd like at least 48 hours back.

The problem with this week is that I spent the first half of it utterly unable to focus, so I got absolutely nothing done, to speak of, until Thursday morning. I mean, really.

Intense emotional processing, which is actually the PURPOSE of the Friday chicken. )I'm not giving myself traditional goals for this week, other than 1) breathe, and 2) survive. Anything else is gravy.

I have this post I've been internally processing about the pathologizing of childhood, and you'll probably see it later this week too. (But don't be terribly disappointed if you don't.)

So that's me. How's all of you?
ambersweet: Go ahead! Panic! Do it now and avoid the June rush! (Go ahead! Panic!)
In good news, I got my presentation finished and it went very well. In less good news, I didn't get the paper done. I'm still working on it (but I have ACTUAL PARAGRAPHS NOW), which is why this entry will be very brief.

While I was sitting here with the window open, wondering what else to say, a patron comes up and asks that I switch out the headphones he's checked out. He feels around his pockets and says, "I left my wallet in my pants." I really hope he meant "jacket." The counter's very high, though, so I really have no idea if he was wearing pants or not. PANTS: THEY ARE IMPORTANT.

Normally this is not the shift that gets the weirdos. Sketchy people trying to convince me they're students around midnight (when non-students get kicked out), yes. People who inexplicably are trying to print in color at 2 AM, yes. But the weirdos are generally limited to my Sunday afternoon shift, when I have to deal with the General Public. The General Public is weird. Students who come into the library during the day are somehow weirder than ones who come in at night. It seems counter-intuitive.

Anyway, I should get back to work on my paper.
ambersweet: Go ahead! Panic! Do it now and avoid the June rush! (Go ahead! Panic!)
It's 10:49. I have a ten-minute presentation and a five-page paper due tomorrow at 1:30. I skipped my internship today so I could stay home and work on them. I haven't actually started either one. I'm struggling with a complete inability to focus, a total lack of inspiration, and I just wish the semester were over already. I hate this class, I could've taught this class better than the professor, I question virtually every decision she's made in teaching (including the books she selected), and I just have not words. The last thing I want to do is write a paper for her.

The thing that really upsets me is that we read a book, The Scalpel and the Silver Bear, for my Women as Healers class. It's written by the first female Navajo surgeon, and I really wish I could write my paper about THAT, but we have to write about the absolute shit we had to read for the second half of the semester. Also (and I've had this problem in virtually every English class I've taken) I can't find supporting documentation about what I actually want to talk about. WHY DOES SOMEONE ELSE NEED TO HAVE HAD AN OPINION FIRST? MY OPINIONS ARE AWESOME.

Hate hate hate hate this.
ambersweet: Yellow crocheted project, in progress (Crochet)
Rather than trying to kill myself writing a novel on top of a full schedule of work, classes, and an internship, I decided to attempt posting every day during November. I actually did this! Well, more or less. I didn't manage to post every single day, but this is the 36th post for November 2010. I talked about knitting a lot, wrote some fic, ranted about stuff, and really had a lot of fun. It feels like a good habit to have, so I'm going to try and stick with it through December and into the new year.

Random knitting updates: I have a full pattern repeat completed on the Argyle State University scarf, and I'm a lot more comfortable with working the pattern, so it's going faster. Work on the Beer Gloves continues apace; I'm about to start in on the fingers. I was in class when I hit that point, and I didn't want to break out the book, so I cast on and worked about half an inch on Ribbed Sock #2. I don't remember if I mentioned this, but I bound off the Seafoam Shawl (again). I picked up this gorgeous silver yarn (Loops and Threads Dewdrops in the Onyx colorway) - it has sequins. I know, right? She wants fringe, and I'm also going to do a crochet edging along the top to make it a little bigger. A friend of ours had a baby, so I also had a minor crochet interruption to make a baby hat. It's going to look like a One Up mushroom when it's done (three spots to go); I'll post pictures.

I didn't get anything done over the weekend, which means I'm going to have to write a six-page paper and put together a ten-minute presentation between now and 1:30 Thursday. THIS WOULD BE EASIER IF I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE MY MIND WAS STUFFED WITH WOOL ROVING. And me without a spinning wheel. Not that I'd know how to use it if you handed it to me, but you know, the principle of the probably very incoherent thing. Anybody want to write a paper on Navajo storytelling styles or do a presentation on captivity narratives for me?

Yeah, me neither.

Also, this thing where I wake up ridiculously early on Tuesday morning is getting old. So not very excited about going to work in an hour.
ambersweet: Ramona with hammer (Ramona - banhammer)
Also because I don't have an angry feminist icon, for some reason.

Tonight I'm taking a break from the brain-intensive beer gloves and casting on the Gryffindor Argyle State University scarf, now that I've found a proper gold yarn. It's double-knitting and colorwork, two things I've not done before, plus it's a pattern I thought was cool, so I'm kind of excited by it.

This evening's Women as Healers class involved talking about the mpreg story I wrote my paper on. The story in question is a "in the near future" feminist science fiction piece in which there exists the technology to remove a woman's uterus, place it in an artificial pouch, and connect it to someone else via a conduit implanted in the navel. It's a semi-surrogacy situation, without the legal messiness, because the uterus and eggs don't belong to the host and obviously aren't actually inside her. The sidebar has marketing materials, newspaper articles, and excerpts from a scholarly paper all using a rhetoric of pregnancy as a messy, dirty burden that the "busy professional woman" can escape from by having a poor woman of color someone else to do the work for her. In fact, the host who is interviewed is a woman (from El Salvador, I believe) who wanted more children but had to be sterilized in order to keep her green card, and so this is the closest she can get to actual pregnancy. The "main" part of the story is a man, a scientist, who takes his wife's uterus in order to have a son after the illness and death of their daughter. The wife, incidentally, isn't interested in having another child, and I got the impression that she gave up her uterus because she was tired of arguing with him about it, but Howard convinces himself that there will be a Magical Point at which she will become interested in the baby and then all will be well.

Most of our discussion was focused on the reversal of gender roles, and the way that Howard (and his privilege) processes pregnancy and others' reactions to it, using simultaneously the Mansplanation "I, a man have experienced this thing, so now it is valid" approach (did you know that morning sickness was not something in our heads, ladies? it's REAL! because Man Howard has experienced it!) and the rhetoric of "I am special! because I are a PIONEER! and if you discriminate against me it must be because I am a MAN HAVING A BABY and that makes YOU uncomfortable!" Also I understand racial oppression because my ancestors are Irish. (Yes, Howard seriously reminds me of Privilege Denying Dude. Google it, it will make your morning.)

Speaking of Privilege Denying Dude, I have a particular classmate (Poli Sci major, Women's Studies Minor) who is gay and Asian, and acts like no one in the world could possibly be more oppressed/stereotyped/racialized than him. He's loudmouthed in a particularly obnoxious way, and several members of the class (including me) get into arguments with him virtually every week because of it. Tonight's Privilege Demonstration was regarding Man Howard's attitude toward parental leave (which he turned into an argument about how it was DISCRIMINATION, REALLY, and if he were adopting a child and he got discriminated against, he would throw a fit. Which, I actually had to turn to a human being in real life, face-to-face discourse, and say, "It's not about you. Stop making it about you."

One of my classmates, a fellow knitter who's usually a little more aware than this, opined that she didn't understand why Dorothy (the wife) and Rosa (the sidebar host) were getting so much sympathy, because they both CHOSE to do these things. (Obviously she's never been in a relationship where it was easier to give in than to argue, even if you really didn't want to do something, because your partner was so gung-ho about it they weren't hearing you when you said no.) The professor pointed out that criticizing Rosa was operating from a position of white privilege, because framing her decision to be sterilized to keep her green card as a choice was problematic. (She did concede the point after I re-emphasized that Rosa wanted more children but chose sterilization rather than deportation; obviously returning to her home country was something she desperately didn't want.) So Privilege Denying Classmate stands up for her against the professor, saying that Knitting Classmate can't be experiencing privilege because she's a lesbian, and her oppressed state as a lesbian basically outranks her privileged state as a white person. I could not possibly be making this up. And then, not ten minutes later, he gets into an argument with another classmate about how she shouldn't treat intersectional oppression like a hierarchy. Because it's only valid when he does it, obviously.

He wasn't in class last week. It was so nice and quiet and civilized.

On the other hand, tag-team jumping him for being wrong is kind of fun.
ambersweet: (Default)
Mostly because I came home from work, lay down for a few minutes, picked [personal profile] finch up from work, lay back down, and woke up at 9:00 this morning. Some days the 3 hours of sleep thing works fine; other days, it doesn't.

In good news, I got my paper finished. Yesterday at my internship was a "hurry up and wait" day, so I re-read the entirety of Ethan of Athos and was thus able to include it in my paper. (If you erase women from your world, you suddenly feel the need to count child-rearing as labor. Amazing.) The paper, incidentally, was about mpreg un-gendering pregnancy, as represented in Junior, Ethan of Athos, and "The Man Who Plugged In," and how the intervention of science leads to the erasure of women. Everything leads to the erasure of women, really. That is my degree in a nutshell.

In even better news, my Knit Picks package arrived! It actually got here on Tuesday, but between my schedule and the office hours, I wasn't actually able to get it until this morning. YARN SO BEAUTIFUL. New needle so amazing. I can't wait to get started. Maybe tonight! We shall see.

Okay, that's all for now.
ambersweet: Kadaj smiles because he has no idea what's going on. (Kadaj has no idea.)
I finished the first Ribbed Sock and I'm now going back and forth debating whether to immediately cast on the second, or finish the damned Seafoam Shawl. After I finished the sock, I got three more rows done on the shawl. I really just need to be working on a project that doesn't feel like the most tedious thing ever. My Knitpicks order should be here tomorrow! So I can get started on that. Except that they'll probably leave the box at the office and I won't be home until after the office closes, so I'll actually have to wait until Thursday. THURSDAY CANNOT BE HERE SOON ENOUGH.

I'm in a weird mental state right now; I'm writing a paper for my Women as Healers class, and I'm still in the transition stage between reading the source material I'm going to talk about and the beginning of the actual writing process. This apparently means that I'm profoundly dissatisfied with every sentence I produce, because I've written this paragraph three times and it still feels awkward. Like I shouldn't be talking about a paper I haven't started? I'm not sure. But the paper is (going to be) about the medicalization of childbirth through the lens of a nurse-midwife's memoir and a science fiction short story about mpreg. (My degree requires reading the weirdest things!) Pregnancy is a very gendered thing, even when it's not.

Thinking about this story makes me wish I had enough time to re-read Ethan of Athos and add in commentary about pregnancy in the Vorkosiverse. Maybe I will do that on the train tomorrow; I'm pretty sure I have it on my ereader (which I cleverly failed to bring to work with me). Science fiction and pregnancy! A fascinating topic.

Poking around, I just found an article on Junior, and now I'm thinking about writing my paper about mpreg. I love this class.
ambersweet: I'm killing you in my novel. (killing you)
I finished [personal profile] finch's Driver Gloves tonight, weaving in the ends and attaching the D-rings. I also wove the ends in on the Seafoam Shawl; I'll be taking it up to Fantasia tomorrow to see if the psychic who accosted me still wants it now that it's finished.

We went to a couple of thrift stores today. This particular chain has 50% off sales on the holidays. [personal profile] finch scored a gorgeous pair of boots, I picked up a book (Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank; I haven't read it since high school so we'll see how it holds up) and several sweaters to unravel for yarn. Then I spent a couple of hours snipping threads on the living-room floor and making black-and-white yarn balls. I'm learning a lot about sweater construction, which should help when I actually start to make a sweater. I'm thinking about making a pink dinosaur hoodie for my dinosaur-loving niece, because how awesome would that be? It has spikes up the hood and down the back and it may be the cutest thing ever.

Spent the first couple of hours of my shift tonight finishing my objects, then I started working on my homework.t

I'm taking a seminar this semester called Research on Women and Crime, which started out a profoundly upsetting class, just in general. We started out on domestic violence (which, yeah) and then moved on to abortion and prostitution. (The prostitution class was held debate-style, in which emotions ran very high, and one particularly vocal member of the anti-prostitution group hasn't come back to class at all.) We've also read about drug crimes, juvenile justice, women in prison, and women leaving prison. (We're going out to tour the women's prison later this month.) So the last few weeks, while anger-making, haven't been nearly as personal as the first few.

So the articles I'm reading for Monday's class are on transgender inmates. I'm reading "'Trapped' in Sing-Sing: Transgendered Prisoners Caught in the Gender Binarism" by Darren Rosenblum. (It's a 75 page .pdf file. My eyes, they're bleeding.) Now what I didn't realize when I started reading it was that it was written in 2000. A lot has changed since 2000. But I'm reading the article and screaming at the author for the transfail beneath are my reactions to a couple of pages; they're going into my response paper, so they're semi-academic in tone, until the point where I just start capslocking everywhere. )
ambersweet: (Default)
I have to ask this, so I can concentrate on the paper I'm supposed to be writing, rather than sitting here mulling over this or (worse) researching it.

O ye writers of fanfic:

Have you ever written a gender-swap AU? This includes fics where one, a few, or all characters are just naturally genderswapped (e.g., a universe in which Squall and Seifer are female and Quistis and Rinoa are male), or Something Happened to cause one or more of the characters to spontaneously swap genders (e.g., Hermione slipped polyjuice potion in Ron's pumpkin juice to make sure he NEVER laughed at her cramps again).

If you have, could you answer me a few questions? ) Feel free (oh please please please) to pimp this out to your friends, relations, acquaintances, random people on the street, whoever.

April 2013

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