ambersweet: (Default)
It's one of those questions that grown-ups ask children when they're making small talk. (See also: "How old are you?" "What grade are you in?" "What's your favorite subject in school?")

The trouble is that, as children, we decide that it's actually a meaningful question. One day we'll achieve that mystical state known as "grown up," we will know everything, be supremely confident, and be something. This is the case whether or not our parents actually have careers that are self-descriptive and permanent (doctor, lawyer, Indian chief). It might be even more true if your parents do have careers like that; mine did not, and maybe that's why I have figured some of this out. My mom used to be a teacher, and then she taught college part-time and taught people how to give quality customer service full-time, and now she works for the IRS. Yes, really. My dad was career military, but he did all sorts of things for the military (working on cargo planes! bossing reservists around! pushing papers!) and now he's retired and also works for (a different division of) the IRS. (Neither of them have the power to audit you, however.)

Admittedly, it used to be a meaningful question. When you got out of school, you got a job with a company and then did that job or something similar to it until you retired. Then the world changed, and the only people who stay with companies for twenty years are government employees or [personal profile] finch's mom, and even she got laid off.

Nowadays, both "grown-up" and "career" are sort of nebulous concepts. I figured out somewhere around 21 that nothing magical happens to make you grown up, and nobody's going to catch you faking it and make you go back to high school. (My first real job? I totally felt like that all the time.)

And now I'm 34, and about to graduate college, and I've worked all sorts of jobs and I have something I'm going to try, and then an idea of what I want to do next, and maybe that thing won't be forever, but that's okay. Not knowing is okay, and trying things out is okay, and deciding that you don't want to do that after all is also okay. Figuring it out and doing it is cool too, but it's not necessary. Because nobody's going to make you declare what you want to be when you grow up any more, because you're already grown up, and the only reason grown-ups ask kids is because they're looking for ideas.

What's important is happiness, because that's the thing that follows you home at night. Maybe happiness means you work a crappy retail job so you have the free time to pursue your hobby or spend time with your kids, and maybe happiness means you get a degree (or several) and have a Serious Career that you love to pieces. Maybe happiness means switching jobs every few years because you get bored. Maybe, for now, happiness means working a job you hate while you're going to school and looking for something else - just make sure that it isn't the end. There are too many people working jobs they hate, and not enough people following their fish their bliss. Do what you love and the money will follow is so cliched, and it's maybe not realistic, but do what you love and don't stress about the money is closer. Because money won't buy you anything but stuff, and stuff is highly overrated. (Don't get me wrong: having enough money to pay the bills is an important place to be at. Just - it doesn't have to be much more than that.)

This has been a rambling way to say, the next time someone asks you what you want to be when you grow up, the best possible answer you can give them is, "Happy."
ambersweet: Bubbles on her knees. (Bubbles)
Well, I missed yesterday because I laid down for a nap and woke up this morning, so I guess I'll have to make an extra post sometime. This whole thing where I'm working until 3:30 AM and then getting up at 7 the next morning is doing weird things to my sleeping habits.

[personal profile] finch found a DVD of "old school" Sesame Street at the library and we've been watching that. It's funny how many of the old segments we've both seen, and so many songs I knew all the words to - including ones I'd forgotten I knew. Remember J - jump joyful jumble around? I totally loved that song.

Included in these eps was the first appearance of Mr. Snuffleupagus , who looked bizarrely creepy (he had yellow and green eyes and blond eyelashes) and several segments in which the adults made fun of Big Bird for his "imaginary friend." Considering how kind and patient and encouraging they all are with human children, the way they consistently mock and dismiss Big Bird is upsetting. I don't know if this was a deliberate choice (because adults are often impatient and dismissive of children, so it's realistic, but they're not hurting the feelings of actual children) or just accidental, but I've always loved Big Bird and hated how everyone treated him. Their behavior wasn't any better in very early episodes where he was developmentally disabled (and microcephalic) rather than eternally 6.

(And Snuffy lives in a cave right off of Sesame Street... would that be - Central Park? Or is it just a sideways dimension, because clearly Snuffy and his family are magical creatures? Theories?)

I do like the casual integration, and the number of characters of color although the genie with the Brooklyn accent named Mabel who was apparently from Baghdad was very...strange.

Also, watching Bert and Ernie through a slashy lens as an adult is hysterically funny. The innuendo, it totally drips. Totally.

OMG BERT IS DOING THE PIGEON RIGHT NOW, GUYS. RIGHT NOW. HE HAS STRIPY SOCKS AND SADDLE SHOES.

Some of these sketches are so WEIRD. Like, some of the writers got lost on the way to Monty Python, or something, IDK. There was this sketch with Luis trapped in a brick-walled room, and an EXIT sign dropped from the ceiling, and he stuck it on the wall and then created a door in the wall by pushing the bricks. LUIS IS TRAPPED IN THE LABYRINTH.

I really ought to finish my reading so I can turn in my discussion questions.
ambersweet: (Faire argument)
Title: (But I Won't Do That)
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Luigi/Amber
Rating: R for sex
Word Count: 589
Summary: "He is her Luigi, and she loves him with an intensity that is cockeyed and painful, like a bad headache, something that affects everything that she does."
Warnings: Underage incest.

This is a companion piece to [livejournal.com profile] finesharpedge's "Everything Louder Than Everything Else," and one of those weird side effects of being a beta reader.

This isn't what she expected when she came down the hall in time to see Dad storming out of Luigi's room. )
ambersweet: (Sad Amber)
Title: Regret
Pairings/Characters: Rotti, Carmela (young Amber)
Rating: G
Summary: No summary. It's 62 words.
Warnings: Cute kid?

What about me? )

April 2013

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