L'opera, mi amore!

1. Basic understanding of how the library works AT THE END OF THE SEMESTER will make me happier to help you. If you CANNOT FIND THE STACKS, you are clearly too dumb to live be in college. Also and unrelatedly, how do you get to be in college and not know how to find information on a topic? If nothing else, at least two of the first classes you're required to take includes sections on how to use the library.

2. "First come, first served" means exactly that. It doesn't mean that special you gets a phone call when a room becomes available, even if you're "still in the library" just because you were "here first" when there weren't any rooms available. I assure you, you're very far from being the first person to ask about the study rooms since the last key went out. You want a study room, stalk the board like everyone else. Also, when the room does come in, it wouldn't hurt to be nice to me.

3. It never hurts to be nice to me. I'm MUCH more inclined to go out of my way to help you out, rather than giving you the rote answers, if you're nice about it.

4. Group study rooms are for GROUPS. That means I need to see that you're part of a group before I can check it out to you. Also, not to be a catty bitch, but it's 4:30 in the afternoon; try and wear makeup appropriate for the library in the middle of the day, rather than midnight at the club. Otherwise I'm going to wonder if you didn't wash your face when you came home last night.

5. Because I am not psychic to that degree, I don't know when we're going to have rooms available. I'm not supposed to tell you when they're due back, either, because would you want someone to know when YOUR room was due back?

6. The answer to your question is no. Because I'm really tired of you. Now go away.

Less than two hours into a seven-hour shift. Please kill me now.

ETA: 7. This is not a retail store, you can't request something be pulled and have it pulled within the hour. As it tells you on the web site, it can take UP TO A WEEK. Usually it takes much less than that, but give us 24 hours, for crying out loud.