L'opera, mi amore!

Suddenly I've been really productive, which is good, because I'm running out of time between now and Christmas.

( A lot of knitting. )

So a couple of you suggested, in response to my last post, that I should write a book. I don't know that I'm up to book level yet, but what I'm thinking about actually doing is starting a blog. In it, I would talk about emotional honesty, and healing the damage caused by bad relationships, and building healthy ones, and knitting (and crochet and spinning and weaving). Because for some reason, the crafting and the counseling are plied together in my thoughts - maybe because I came to them together, and maybe just because I needed one to work my way into and through the other. There's just something about knitting, the act of making something real, that just is satisfying in a soul-deep way. Like meditation, with yarn. And meditation brings all sorts of people to new realizations.

I don't pretend I have all the answers, but if I can use my experience to help a few people, well, that's what it's there for. Teaching, and sharing, so we can all grow together.

The name I'm considering (thanks to finch's suggestion) is Ripping Back, which both the knitting term for undoing rows of stitches to fix an error, and what you need to do to expose yourself in a way that honesty is possible. You have to rip back the shields, and the masks, and the facade that is the "cult of okay." So this will be a blog about admitting mistakes, working to fix them, and progressing from there, both in the emotional and the knitting sense.

What do you guys think? Would you follow me elsewhere?

Rather than trying to kill myself writing a novel on top of a full schedule of work, classes, and an internship, I decided to attempt posting every day during November. I actually did this! Well, more or less. I didn't manage to post every single day, but this is the 36th post for November 2010. I talked about knitting a lot, wrote some fic, ranted about stuff, and really had a lot of fun. It feels like a good habit to have, so I'm going to try and stick with it through December and into the new year.

Random knitting updates: I have a full pattern repeat completed on the Argyle State University scarf, and I'm a lot more comfortable with working the pattern, so it's going faster. Work on the Beer Gloves continues apace; I'm about to start in on the fingers. I was in class when I hit that point, and I didn't want to break out the book, so I cast on and worked about half an inch on Ribbed Sock #2. I don't remember if I mentioned this, but I bound off the Seafoam Shawl (again). I picked up this gorgeous silver yarn (Loops and Threads Dewdrops in the Onyx colorway) - it has sequins. I know, right? She wants fringe, and I'm also going to do a crochet edging along the top to make it a little bigger. A friend of ours had a baby, so I also had a minor crochet interruption to make a baby hat. It's going to look like a One Up mushroom when it's done (three spots to go); I'll post pictures.

I didn't get anything done over the weekend, which means I'm going to have to write a six-page paper and put together a ten-minute presentation between now and 1:30 Thursday. THIS WOULD BE EASIER IF I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE MY MIND WAS STUFFED WITH WOOL ROVING. And me without a spinning wheel. Not that I'd know how to use it if you handed it to me, but you know, the principle of the probably very incoherent thing. Anybody want to write a paper on Navajo storytelling styles or do a presentation on captivity narratives for me?

Yeah, me neither.

Also, this thing where I wake up ridiculously early on Tuesday morning is getting old. So not very excited about going to work in an hour.

I just cabled without a cable needle. This is sort of like tightrope without a net, except that the only thing that will fall are stitches. SALVAGING DROPPED STITCHES IS NO FUN. However, I WAS SUCCESSFUL!

I was told it was exhilerating.

It's very true.

Wow, another Friday already? Which means it's time for the Friday Chicken. Chicken!

(For those of you who've played Zelda games, and who've chased chickens around? That's totally why the Friday Chicken amuses me so much. That mini-game in Ocarina of Time and Windwaker where you had to find all the chickens was the BEST MINI-GAME EVER. Throwing chickens, what more could you possibly want out of a video game?)

I'm still doing pretty darn good on all fronts. This week was a tired week, as revealed by my going home and falling asleep on Wednesday, and then taking a (much shorter) nap on Thursday before work. That probably had a lot to do with the fact that I woke up at 9 AM on Thursday because of Wednesday's marathon sleep session, but I needed it and I gave it to myself. Today I'm feeling pretty good, jazzed about going to starfleet's show tonight and meeting nightmachinery.

That glorious green sparkly sweater I bought at the thrift shop over the weekend matches my flowered skirt; I think I've found a new favorite outfit. Incidentally I discovered that I look really good in green. Shallow, but still a plus, and clothes make me excited.

I am glorying in my knitting; I worked on crankyoldman's Beer Gloves on the train, and I'm almost done with the cuff. Magic loop technique is breathtakingly easy, it would be easier if the joins on my bamboo needle wasn't so fussy and I'm pretty sure it's a little faster than fussing with DPNs. I have a couple of projects in the queue, enough to keep me busy, and every single one has a new technique. (Magic loop! Stripes! ARGYLE!)

I wrote a surprise paper, because I thought the due date was next week, but I'm pretty satisfied with it. I gave myself permission to panic about the surprise paper, and then I didn't need to, which was totally awesome.

I'm feeling happy and satisfied and working hard without being overwhelmed, which is fantastic.

Stumbling blocks?

- End of semester panic. That looming fear that it'll soon be over and I need to find a job in this economy and I won't be able to, even though I have actual concrete plans about what to do. Focus on concrete plans! I can always temp, if it comes down to it. I am a star and there is a job waiting just for me if I'm ready for it.

- I'm irrationally worried that I'm going to get myself in over my head and disappoint someone. Acknowledge that this worry is irrational, think about new tasks before taking them on, don't be afraid to say no, and don't make promises.

- Irrational Yuletide fear that I won't like my assignment or won't be able to do it. I think that's related to stumbling block #2. Don't borrow trouble, I'm not going to worry about the assignment before I have it, and last year's terrified me but I did a fantastic job with it. So.

Goals! Last week and next week, here we go:

- I read one chapter for my end-of-semester paper, so basic goal met. +!This weekend I need to do my Women & Crime reading and the reflection, read Bighorse the Warrior and write a journal, and put together some thoughts on "The Man Who Plugged In" (which shouldn't be hard, since I wrote a paper on it!) so that I can facilitate the discussion for Women as Healers. Goal: Get all that done, read two chapters for end-of-semester paper. Bonus goal: Write the critical essay for English.

- I didn't hit my grad school goals. Goal for this week: hit that goal for last week.

- I added to the Seafoam Shawl and finished Ribbed Sock #1. ++! Goal: finish the Seafoam Shawl (again). Bonus goal: Finish Beer Glove #1.

- Bonus overall goal: find/create a Friday chicken icon!

Three goal points for this week! That's something to be excited about.

So that's my Friday chicken. How's yours?