So I've been playing this Exalted game with ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
finch, nightmachinery, starfleet, and tuneinanytime. (Last weekend we had a special guest, crankyoldman.) We all started out pre-Exalted, and let the DM pick what we would Exalt as, and when, during the course of the game. Now, my character (who's twelve years old) is from one of the big Families of Dragonblooded, and his only goal in the world was to Exalt as a Dragonblood and take his place in his Caste. Two weeks ago, he Exalted...as a Solar.
If you don't know anything about Exalted, it's totally medieval Otherkin. Right around puberty, (some) people Exalt - at which point they reconnect to the ancient power that they used to be, and become shiny and sparkly. The world is run by the Dragonblooded, who took over by killing off everybody else and then telling all their descendants that everybody else is evil and wrong. (In fairness, everybody else did go kind of batshit crazy first.)
Anyway.
“Lotus, are you all right?”
It was Hammer, at least. I was dreading the moment Waterfall would find me, because he would know something was wrong from the moment he laid eyes upon me, and wouldn’t rest until he ferreted it out. And once he did… well, it would all be over.
Hammer came over, crouching down next to me. “Lotus?”
“I – no. No, I’m not.” I shook my head – the rest of me was shaking already.
He put a calming hand on my shoulder. “I know it wasn’t exactly what you wanted, but – hey, you Exalted.”
“As Anathema!”
“No. I know what they say, but it’s bullshit. You’re not unclean. Hell, you were helping that guy, or trying to.”
“It doesn’t matter. My family needs me, and I’ve failed them. I’ve failed everyone.”
“It’s not the end of the world, you know.”
“You don’t understand,” I said, running a hand through my hair, because the alternative was to rip it out by the roots. Hammer’s presence, steady as ever, calmed me a little, dropping me back into misery. “You can’t understand.”
“Try me,” he challenged. “There hasn’t been anything I’ve ever run across that I can’t understand.” The words were mocking, angry. Of course that was the wrong thing to say to him, and I knew it. Distress was making me careless, and that was even more unforgivable.
“I’m not Elegant Lotus.”
“Sure you are. You may be the chosen of the Unconquered Sun, or whatever, but you’re still you.”
“I’m still me, yes. But I’m not Elegant Lotus, and I never have been. My name,” I said, because it was the only way he could possibly understand the depth of wrongness here, “is Sesus Jianwei, son of Sesus Alon.”
“By the Scarlet Throne,” he swore with a quiet fervency.
“Very nearly,” and I laughed, because it was that or cry, or scream. Four years I’d been waiting to do this, counting days and breaths, and only I could manage to do it wrong. “So not only have I failed my family, but if they find out, I’ll be put to the sword!”
“Nobody’s putting you to the sword,” Hammer insisted, grasping my shoulder more tightly. “I won’t allow it.”
I could see him standing up to my entire Clan. It would probably get him killed, but you never knew, with Hammer. “Thank you,” I said, both honored and humbled by his loyalty. I’d always believed that there was something more to Hammer than just another Outcaste who’d failed to Exalt.
It seemed that I was right.
finch, nightmachinery, starfleet, and tuneinanytime. (Last weekend we had a special guest, crankyoldman.) We all started out pre-Exalted, and let the DM pick what we would Exalt as, and when, during the course of the game. Now, my character (who's twelve years old) is from one of the big Families of Dragonblooded, and his only goal in the world was to Exalt as a Dragonblood and take his place in his Caste. Two weeks ago, he Exalted...as a Solar.If you don't know anything about Exalted, it's totally medieval Otherkin. Right around puberty, (some) people Exalt - at which point they reconnect to the ancient power that they used to be, and become shiny and sparkly. The world is run by the Dragonblooded, who took over by killing off everybody else and then telling all their descendants that everybody else is evil and wrong. (In fairness, everybody else did go kind of batshit crazy first.)
Anyway.
“Lotus, are you all right?”
It was Hammer, at least. I was dreading the moment Waterfall would find me, because he would know something was wrong from the moment he laid eyes upon me, and wouldn’t rest until he ferreted it out. And once he did… well, it would all be over.
Hammer came over, crouching down next to me. “Lotus?”
“I – no. No, I’m not.” I shook my head – the rest of me was shaking already.
He put a calming hand on my shoulder. “I know it wasn’t exactly what you wanted, but – hey, you Exalted.”
“As Anathema!”
“No. I know what they say, but it’s bullshit. You’re not unclean. Hell, you were helping that guy, or trying to.”
“It doesn’t matter. My family needs me, and I’ve failed them. I’ve failed everyone.”
“It’s not the end of the world, you know.”
“You don’t understand,” I said, running a hand through my hair, because the alternative was to rip it out by the roots. Hammer’s presence, steady as ever, calmed me a little, dropping me back into misery. “You can’t understand.”
“Try me,” he challenged. “There hasn’t been anything I’ve ever run across that I can’t understand.” The words were mocking, angry. Of course that was the wrong thing to say to him, and I knew it. Distress was making me careless, and that was even more unforgivable.
“I’m not Elegant Lotus.”
“Sure you are. You may be the chosen of the Unconquered Sun, or whatever, but you’re still you.”
“I’m still me, yes. But I’m not Elegant Lotus, and I never have been. My name,” I said, because it was the only way he could possibly understand the depth of wrongness here, “is Sesus Jianwei, son of Sesus Alon.”
“By the Scarlet Throne,” he swore with a quiet fervency.
“Very nearly,” and I laughed, because it was that or cry, or scream. Four years I’d been waiting to do this, counting days and breaths, and only I could manage to do it wrong. “So not only have I failed my family, but if they find out, I’ll be put to the sword!”
“Nobody’s putting you to the sword,” Hammer insisted, grasping my shoulder more tightly. “I won’t allow it.”
I could see him standing up to my entire Clan. It would probably get him killed, but you never knew, with Hammer. “Thank you,” I said, both honored and humbled by his loyalty. I’d always believed that there was something more to Hammer than just another Outcaste who’d failed to Exalt.
It seemed that I was right.
