Topic? We don't need no stinking topic!

At least I hope not, because I certainly don't have one. Except that I'm going to talk about knitting, because what else do I talk about ever.

Working on the Beer Gloves, and having some problems with the sizing, so I went poking around until I found someone else who had already resized them and I'm starting the second cuff with her adjustments in mind. If I like how it turns out, I'll rip out the first cuff and redo it; if I don't, I'll figure something else out. Knitting! It is a giant game of trying to figure it out as I go. I'm not thrilled with the way the pattern is written, and I'm thinking about writing it out in the way that I wish it were written. But I am lazy, so I might just make notes directly in the book. We shall see. If nothing else, the chart for the palm is driving me insane and I'm not sure I like how it looks finished (based on pictures I've seen), so I may get rid of that section anyway, or alter it a little. (crankyoldman, are you in love with the textured palm?)

Did some thrifting today, but didn't really find anything cool. Took a stack of books and miscellaneous stuff down to Bookman's and picked up the first and third book in Holly Black's faerie trilogy; I really liked the second, Tithe. Normally I don't read out of order but apparently the first one is mostly unrelated? (At least nepenthe told me so. If this is not true I blame her. XD)

We also went to two different yarn stores looking for the yarn for my boss's scarf; The Fiber Factory had Cascade 220 in a gold that I liked (California Poppy), but they only had one skein of burgundy, so we went up to Tempe Yarn & Fiber. They ALSO only had one skein of burgundy! So I ended up getting that skein and then trekking back to TFF to pick up the other. They're different dye lots, but Fred at TYF assured me that Cascade's dye lots were very consistent, and they look the same to me. So it's all good. I also picked up a darning egg, so I can darn finch's favorite socks, so he will no longer be heartbroken.

Afterwards, we went to a very nice coffee shop for some quality NaNo write-in time for finch and some quality homework-and-yarn-balling time for me. This week on Women and Crime: more reasons for me to hate the justice system! This time, it's inadequate health care, and how mandatory drug sentencing hurts children. I'm normally not into the Think of the Children!!! arguments, but when you have a non-violent first-time offender serving fifteen years for smuggling drugs for somebody else, and she has a toddler when she goes to jail? The person who's going to be suffering the most will be that totally innocent child, who cannot possibly understand why her mommy won't be coming home again.

As I certainly can't do anything about the inadequacies of the justice system tonight, I'm going back to knitting. The Beer Gloves, I can help.

Breaking up doesn't mean you failed

Dan Savage talks from time to time about relationships ending, and how our society basically teaches that every relationship that doesn't last For The Rest Of Your Life is a failure. It's unreasonable in several ways, not the least of which is that not everyone is looking for that, all the time, and also because it gives you the feeling when you're walking away from a broken relationship that you've invested "all that time" in something "for nothing."

That's really not true. Sure, you didn't get Forever, but you got other things. You learned stuff, about yourself and about what you need in a partner. You had good times. You had bad times, hopefully different than the bad times you had with other people, because every relationship treats stress differently. (And also the same! Which is why there are relationship counselors and advice columns, because you can extrapolate a little bit from your own experience, and from other people's.) You got time (weeks, months, years) spent looking through someone else's eyes at the world.

So that's far from nothing.

I can't say that I got nothing out of eight years, because I met plenty of people who are still good friends that I wouldn't have if I weren't with her. (Number one on that list is obviously finch! But there are a lot of you hanging out here with me who are ALSO on that list.) I learned things about myself, about what I need in a relationship to be healthy and happy and sane. I learned what would happen to me if I didn't get those things, or I didn't get them regularly, or I didn't get enough of them. I discovered I was capable of all sorts of things, some of them very good. And maybe most importantly, I learned the value of a good relationship.

There was more, about power and control, and creating the thing you fear, and how being afraid of losing something (or someone) can cause you to act in a way that brings that very fear to reality, and some stuff about being the person you are, rather than the person you think your partner wants you to be (so when you stop and go back to being yourself, your partner turns to you and says You are not the person I fell in love with), but I can't make the words go together and I've been staring at this for several hours now. So I'll post it, and you can all talk about it in the comments.